[9] Selfish Desires (NC-17)

Nao leaned against the door frame with a bored expression, watching as Natsuki hurriedly collected mostly empty Chinese take out boxes and threw them in the garbage. "Up to your ears indeed.”

There was a resigned sigh from Natsuki, before she motioned for Nao to come in. "Sorry for the mess.”

"Eh... I'm not really one to judge.” The redhead smiled as she sat down at the kitchen table, pulling a worn deck of cards out of her purse. She kicked off her geta sandals, letting them spin and clatter along the floor. "Gods, it feels good to get those things off. I think I have blisters on the soles of my feet.”

Natsuki eyed the cards. "Not in the mood for movies?”

"The last couple have been sort of a flop.” She loosened her yukata before she began to shuffle the cards, arching the soft surfaces to bend them back into shape, and cycling between the two actions expertly.

The raven haired girl sighed dramatically. "You just don't have any refined tastes. Just because they don't have fancy special effects...”

"Or any acting talent...”

Natsuki didn't bother to dispute that point. "Oh well. I don't mind cards.” They had played a few times in the past, but Nao always won, no matter what game they played. It was quite frustrating, really.

"The usual, then? Five card stud?” Nao eyed her with the gaze of a hardened card player.

"Sure thing. But I'm not betting money this time. I'm sick of losing it all.”

The younger girl pouted. "It's no fun if we don't bet.”

"Loser pays for our next lunch together?”

Nao rolled her eyes. "You always pay for that anyway.”

"I know... that's why I'm putting it on the line.” Natsuki smiled smugly. "Or you afraid I'm going to beat you?”

"There's a first time for everything.” Nao fired back with a wink.

"You're on then.” Natsuki motioned for the younger girl to deal.

-----

Nao lifted the corner of her cards up, then left them back flat on the table. Natsuki held hers upright, unprofessionally, and glared at Nao. The raven haired girl pushed forward two more of the single yen coins they were using as chips before turning back and pouring herself a drink. Nao had convinced her to take out the bottle of whiskey, despite Natsuki's weak protests that it 'didn't go very well last time'. Still, they had both managed to keep their drinking within moderation this time.

Nao recalled her cards through the warm buzz of the alcohol. She had two pairs, which was probably better than anything her opponent could make, but Natsuki was looking frustrated. The older girl's pile of one yen coins was running fairly low, and Nao wanted to draw the game out anyway. She was having too much fun to end it now. "Too rich for my blood.” Nao sighed morosely. "I fold.”

Natsuki eyed her for a moment, then happily gathered her winnings.

-----

They had been playing for nearly two hours, but it had been quite enjoyable. Still, Nao considered, it was time to start drawing the game to a close. She had nearly all the chips once again, despite a strong comeback attempt by Natsuki, and she had a potential flush. "All in.” she monotoned, shoving her appreciable stack of coins into the center of the table. They toppled over, with sliding into Natsuki's shot glass, making a series of plops and soft metallic clinks against the bottom of the whiskey filled glass.

Natsuki kept a cool expression as she slid her more modest pile in. She pursed her lips, considering. "If I win, I'll only get part of the pot, and we'll basically be back to where we started. Would you consider letting me make up the difference with an alternate wager?”

"Only if I get to choose what it is.”

"I was thinking something like... I'll do your homework for a day, or maybe...”

"I get to kiss you.” Nao decided without hesitation.

Natsuki chewed on her lip, then shrugged. "Fine.” Her voice bespoke confidence as she tossed an unwanted card towards Nao. "I'll take one.”

Nao spun a single card across the table to her, and threw away one of her own before replacing it. She glanced at the card, then flashed a wicked smile at the older girl. "What do you have?”

"Oh... not much... just...” Natsuki slammed the cards down. "Three queens.” She raised an eyebrow . "It will be nice to have you pay for once, if only for the experience.”

"Aw man~...” Nao pouted. "All I have is all these mismatched low cards.” She spread hers out on the table with a dejected expression.

Natsuki's smirk faded slowly into a weary glare. "That's a flush of spades.”

"Oh really?” Nao drawled. "I guess I win then.”

The raven haired girl drew herself up from the table tiredly. "I know. You don't have to rub it in, Nao.”

Nao stood as well, positioning herself directly in front of Natsuki. "So... about the payment of your alternate wager... I was thinking that...” Natsuki cut her off by darting forward and pecking her on the lips. Nao was so startled she didn't even have time to react, other than to glare afterwards. "That doesn't count.”

"Hoh? Why not?”

"Because... I didn't enjoy it enough.”

"Tough luck.” Natsuki said with a grin, enjoying her petty revenge. "It seems to fulfill all of the conditions to me.”

"... fine.” Nao rubbed her hands together, and sat down on the couch. Natsuki followed her with an absent expression, and Nao leaned on her shoulder as they sat together. "Do you mind if I sleep on your couch, Natsuki?”

The older girl turned to look at Nao, but only ended up rubbing her chin against Nao's thick red curls. "Maybe I'm worried about what will happen to me while I sleep.” she offered with a lopsided smile.

"Aww...” Nao pouted without a hint of sincerity. "I thought you said you trusted me.”

Natsuki struggled before lapsing into a short silence. Both of them were so bad at talking about their emotions, so apparently Nao had decided it was her task to rip them from Natsuki, grudgingly or otherwise. It was unsettling to talk about, and she hated the sensation of vulnerability, but the alternative was to slowly orbit each other and never truly communicate. She had once lost Shizuru that way, and she didn't want that to happen again. "I try, Nao, I do. But you make it really hard sometimes. We get along fine when we're busy parrying each other's verbal jabs, but even now, you're very withdrawn.” Nao's playful air had dissipated, and she shrugged passively. Taking that for acceptance of the criticism, Natsuki plowed forward before she could begin to withdraw herself. "So... for example. Tell me something about yourself I don't know.”

She leaned flat against the back of the couch with a sidelong shrug, but appeared to be taking the question seriously. After a moment, she turned with a deadpan expression. "I cheat when we play cards.”

"I said tell me something I don't know.” Natsuki deadpanned back.

Nao nearly choked. "Wait, you knew?” She folded her arms, disgruntled. "How?”

"Well, no one is that lucky. Plus, whenever I start to get angry and frustrated, all of a sudden I start winning again. But when we bet about us smacking lips, all of a sudden luck turns back in your favor.” Natsuki nodded knowingly.

The smug grin returned. "Oh? Then which sleeve do I keep the cards in?”

Natsuki took a calculated guess. "Left.”

Nao waggled her finger, and drew three kings, a queen and an ace from behind her back, where they had been tucked into the bow of her obi. "So, you didn't catch me the act then. Good to know.”

"Che... close enough. It was a trick question anyway...” Natsuki muttered.

"So... if you knew I was cheating, and yet you made the bet about kissing anyway...” Nao grinned wickedly, and hopped up. She quickly rearranged the folds of the yukata around her legs, kneeling over Natsuki and straddling her. "Then that means you didn't mind losing too much.” She raised an eyebrow. "Doesn't it?”

Natsuki shuffled uncomfortably beneath her, but didn't make any move to get her off. "I had a pretty good hand, and I thought...”

"Ah... but cheating isn't only about changing my own cards. Its about knowing what's happening in the game, and making sure I always win. You must have known that.”

"... it's not that simple.” Natsuki muttered.

But Nao didn't bother to respond. She was leaning in, drawing their lips closer together.

"No... Nao, wait.” They hung in the air, suspended, after Nao's uncharacteristic compliance. Their heads were no more than inches apart, and Natsuki could smell Nao's shampoo... a sweet strawberry aroma.

"Yeeees?” Nao said breathily, her voice teasing.

Natsuki struggled to collect her thoughts. "What is it that you want from me?”

The younger girl's jade eyes glinted with mischief in the darkness. "Another kiss, perhaps? Maybe one that isn't so grudgingly given?”

Natsuki shook her head. "That's not what I mean. What is... this... to you.” She gestured expansively, so Nao took her meaning for 'this' to be their relationship in general.

The yukata-clad girl pursed her lips, and her contemplating expression filled Natsuki's vision. "I don't know, Natsuki. It's not like I've ever done this before. I don't know what to expect or what will happen. But does any of that really even matter? I'm not good at saying this sort of thing but... I really had a great time tonight, something I can rarely say. And all I know is I want it to keep happening. And...”

After Nao trailed off, she began to lean in once more. The raven haired girl's anxiety prompted her to speak again, driven by fear. "Wait.” Once again, Nao complied, but hung in place instead of moving back. "I... I can't promise you anything, Nao.”

The redhead's voice was playful. "Silly Natsuki... I don't want promises. I want you.”

Their lips connected, the gap closed before Natsuki's shocked brain could come up with another excuse. Before she could even process the physical contact, she had to work through the mental realization of Nao's words. Nao... wanted her. It seemed like such an obvious thing, but to hear it voiced was another matter entirely. All of the emotional baggage that she had been carrying with her from her mother's death, from middle school, the festival, her encounter with Shizuru... somehow, she realized it had been holding her back from seeing the simple truth in front of her. Nao's intentions were, for once, pure. Nao simply enjoyed being around her, and wanted her... and Natsuki felt the same way back. It was a set of selfish desires, yet they each turned and rejoined in a self-fulfilling circle. It was possible, Natsuki realized in a flash, to give without losing, and receive without taking, and for them to be happy together. It was such a simple thing, in hindsight, but she had been blind to it for all this time.

And as she came to this mental insight in a flash, she already found herself melting into Nao's embrace. The younger girl's hands gripped her hair, drawing her into the joining of their mouths. She responded tentatively, tilting her head and kissing back, feeling a heat rush through her from her cheeks, down her spine and into her toes. She ran her hands down Nao's back, and the yukata gave way slowly, unraveling until it hung loosely from Nao's shoulders. Their breasts pressed together as Nao intensified the kiss, pressing her tongue into Natsuki's mouth. The older girl retaliated, closing her teeth gently around Nao's upper lip, and was rewarded with an animalistic growl from Nao. They both pulled back for a moment and smiled, before they renewed their embrace.

Natsuki waited for something: fear, panic, despair... all of the emotions she had come to associate with intimacy. But instead, all that happened was they sunk deeper into each other's arms. And as they kissed, Natsuki eventually stopped waiting for her issues to surface, and lost herself in Nao's passion. The younger girl's hands left their places in her hair and behind her back, searching for and finding Natsuki's hands. Their fingers intertwined, and Nao pinned Natsuki's hands against the couch, grinding against her body and sending pleasurable sparks up the raven haired girl's spine as she did. Natsuki struggled back, not out of any real desire to escape Nao's grasp, but more for the enjoyment of the contest. Nao leaned over her as their tongues danced, her grip superior with gravity on her side, but Natsuki strained, eventually forcing the redhead's hands back and up into the air. Natsuki gleefully reversed the hold, flopping Nao down onto the other side of the couch and crouching over her. They sat in silence for a moment, with Natsuki savoring her victory, and Nao waiting to see what she intended to do with her newfound control. The older girl's smile faded as she realized her new role of initiator, and swallowed. She shook away her nervousness, and leaned in, planting a small kiss on Nao's nose. Nao grinned, lunging upwards and capturing the raven haired girl's lips and kissing her fiercely.

In all of their twistings and turnings, Nao's yukata had slipped off one of her shoulders, exposing her one breast to the open air. The soft fabric of Natsuki's shirt had been rubbing against it, sending Nao into shivers, but she was determined to not let Natsuki back down after coming this far. Pulling her fingers around Natsuki's wrist, she guided the older girl's hand downwards towards her bosom as they writhed together, lips locked. As her hand reached the exposed skin, Natsuki lifted her head, trying to jerk her hand back with an expression of worry evident. Nao shook her head wordlessly, pressing her sempai's hand forward against her breast. The raven haired girl's expression morphed into one of apprehension, but she gave Nao and experimental caress, letting her fingers drag around the edges of Nao's pink nipple. The redhead gave a low moan of appreciation, arching her back into the inexperienced fondling.

While it was true that she was no more experienced than her older partner in romantic interludes like this, Nao mused, she had played out the encounter a thousand times in her fantasies. She had always supposed Natsuki would be apprehensive, and didn't have any problems with guiding the raven haired girl. But when Natsuki bowed her head, kissing her way down Nao's neck and shoulder, leaving small wet trail to the younger girl's exposed breast, Nao's mind nearly exploded with red sparks. She never thought Natsuki would take the initiative like this. She tried to keep her voice quiet as her sempai's tongue swirled around her areola, but the spikes of pleasure drew staggered gasps from her throat. Natsuki's free hand tugged her yukata down off her other shoulder, shucking it down to pool around her waist, folded over the still tied obi. Nao ran her hands through Natsuki's hair, resisting the temptation to press the older girl's talented mouth against her chest more firmly, letting her go at her own pace. Natsuki's hands released Nao's, moving to the still damp nipple her mouth had vacated and rubbed it as she worked her magic upon its twin. Nao was in heaven, caressing Natsuki's back and neck as she nibbled.

At length, Nao locked her arms under Natsuki's shoulders and pulled her up, grinning wickedly. Natsuki smiled back, though with a small amount of confusion as to what the younger girl was planning. Nao locked her fingers under the robin's egg blue blouse's lower hem, drawing it up and over Natsuki's head. Removing that layer of clothing revealed a navy blue lingerie bra with ample parts of lace and satin. Nao smirked at her otherwise prude sempai's tastes, but she ignored Natsuki's blush and unclasped the restraining fabric from her breasts.

With the expensive looking undergarment out of the way, Nao buried her head in Natsuki's bosom, kissing and licking her way across the exposed skin in sweeping arcs. Natsuki stayed quiet, but Nao could feel her arms quivering with anticipation as the younger girl's mouth approached her nipples. Nao drew out her tongue, long and pointed, and traced teasing patterns

She spun them again, this time back over to the side of the couch they had started on. Nao bore down over Natsuki as they kissed, but she quickly slid herself down the older girl's body, kissing down her torso and to her navel. Her legs came off the couch, and she knelt on the floor crouched between Natsuki’s legs, letting her teeth graze over the raven haired girl’s stomach. A small snicker escaped Natsuki’s lips, and Nao lifted her head to meet her eyes. "It tickles.”

"Mmm…” Nao replied wordlessly, moving her attention down to Natsuki’s tight jeans. The redhead undid the snap on the front of the pants, pulling down the zipper. Natsuki’s hands went down protectively, warding Nao away. The younger girl’s breath caught in her chest, and she wondered if she had crossed a line. "What’s wrong?”

Natsuki’s expression had changed once again into one of anxiety. "I’m just… I don’t know.”

Nao’s unusual streak of listening to Natsuki’s requests ended, as she ignored the wavering of her older partner, and hooked her fingers around the waistline of Natsuki’s jeans, gently guiding them down her legs. After struggling with them for a short moment, she discarded the denim leggings in a pile next to the blouse. Natsuki’s legs were silky smooth, and she ran her cheek up the inside of Natsuki’s thigh, letting her tongue drag against the skin as she made her way back down. The older girl quivered, and as Nao looked up to gauge her reaction. She saw the raven haired girl had her eyes closed and her head thrown back. Taking that as a sign of acceptance, Nao worked her way back up the insides of Natsuki’s thighs again, planting butterfly kisses along the creamy skin, until she met the point where her legs met. Her sempai was wearing a matching pair of panties to her bra, with lacy ties on each side. Nao was tempted to ask if the older girl was expecting something like this to happen tonight, or if she simply wore things this sexy every day. Given the size of Natsuki’s lingerie collection, the second option wasn’t terribly unlikely… but Nao didn’t want to spoil the mood by talking. Instead, she contemplated from her perspective. There was an incredible warmth coming from Natsuki, and the poignant, intoxicating scent of feminine arousal. Nao swallowed her own nervousness and planted a kiss on the lacy fabric.

Natsuki bucked her hips up into Nao’s lips, making the small noises of enjoyment that Nao found herself liking to hear so much. After nuzzling her for a moment, Nao untied the bows keeping the lacy underwear on, pulling it out from under her and letting it drop in with the rest of the clothes. She silently regarded her prize in the low light. It was a purely academic exercise for a moment. Nao had experiment with her own body quite thoroughly, but from an alternate perspective, it took her a moment to decide what to do. She turned her attention back to the inside of Natsuki’s legs, alternating between light kisses and licking. The teasing had a profound effect on Natsuki, reducing her to small, catching breaths, a pattern that approximated whimpering, only softer. Nao turned forward and blew a thin stream of air in a line up the slit of Natsuki's lower lips, watching her tremble in anticipation. She got a head rush with the realization of the effect she had on the older girl.

Feeling as though she had teased Natsuki thoroughly enough, she finally slipped her tongue inside Natsuki. The reaction was immediate, and the raven haired girl strained to move her hips upwards to intensify the contact. Nao's hands restrained her, stroking her tongue in long upward strokes, delighting in the tangy taste. She swirled her tongue around, exploring her depths, quickly finding Natsuki's clitoris and paying it special attention. Voiced, wordless cries were ripped from her throat, echoing in the darkness. At a more rational time, they might have worried about what the neighbors would think, since walls in the apartment building were pathetically thin. But Nao was too consumed with her newfound abilities to make Natsuki scream, and Natsuki herself had been too far gone to consider such things for some time.

Nao found a rhythm, alternating between caressing the clitoris and thrusting her tongue deep into Natsuki's channel. In between, she lapped at Natsuki with the rough of her tongue like a cat to milk, sampling in her sempai's wet arousal with a great relish. In the past, her fantasies had always concentrated more upon the receiving part than the giving, assuming it would be the greater pleasure. Though she didn't have an actual experience to compare it to yet, going down on Natsuki had been a markedly different experience than she had thought it would be, enough for her to challenge her assumption. There was an enormous thrill in knowing she was capable of giving this much enjoyment to the raven haired girl... watching and hearing Natsuki writhe in pleasure under Nao's tongue gave her satisfaction on a level she hadn't dreamed possible.

They were approaching to a crescendo. Natsuki's muscle spasms were becoming stronger and more frequent, and her vocalizing of her pleasure was growing louder. Nao responded with more rapid stimulation as best she could; tiring as the work was on her tongue and neck, the wonderful noises emanating from the girl above her were more than powerful enough motivation to continue through the fatigue.

In a sudden jerking, and a single, sustained gasp, Natsuki clenched up with a single sustained cry, her back arching upwards to its highest point, her arms shooting backwards and pressing against the couch with white knuckles. Nao was rewarded with a small gushing of wetness, evidence of her sempai's climax. She weathered it happily, continuing her ministrations as the orgasm ravaged Natsuki, reducing her to a trembling heap as she finally left its clutches. Her slick body slid to a horizontal position on the couch, as her chest heaved for breath. The sanguine haired girl climbed back up, crawling over the prostrate Natsuki with a sly grin, feeling the perspiration on Natsuki's body as their bare skin pressed together.

The older girl still had a dazed look in her eyes, but her expression was content. "That was... was...”

"Incredible?” Nao supplied smugly. She slid her thigh in between Natsuki's legs, rubbing against the damp heat below to keep sending small shivers of stimulation during their afterglow.

"... that doesn't really do it justice, but, yeah...” Natsuki's arms flopped to the side in exhaustion. "I don't know what to say.”

"Mmm...” Nao mumbled, snuggling against the older girl's warmth. "You don't have to say anything. I enjoyed it quite a bit myself.”

"Really? Why?”

Nao considered how to respond, and chose the easier of answers. "You make very cute sounds when you're not being self conscious.”

Natsuki grinned. "You make sound rather appealing.”

"Oh, do I now?” Nao returned, brushing her bangs aside as she rested her head upon Natsuki's bosom, smiling. "You're not obligated to return the favor or anything...”

"Good. I hate obligations.” Natsuki winked. "Luckily for you though, I'd want the experience of hearing your unguarded voice as well.”

Nao felt the girl beneath her pushing up, and didn't resist as Natsuki leaned her back into a sitting position. All traces of timidity were gone from her mannerisms as she knelt before Nao, glancing upwards with smoldering seduction. She shouldn't feel surprised, Nao knew. Natsuki acted with this level of confidence in everything else in her life; it wasn't strange that she would apply the same determination to intimacy once she finally decided it was what she wanted. But Nao's head still spun as the girl before her yanked on the patterned silk, unraveling the obi and pulling the yukata open, laying Nao bare before her.

Natsuki's newfound resolve only faltered slightly as she sat before Nao's mostly nude body. Nao wasn't sure she could stand the same amount of teasing she had subjected Natsuki to... the intensive foreplay had brought her to a simmer, and the insides of her legs were damp with anticipation. But the raven haired girl wasn't cruel; she leaned forward, tentatively putting her tongue against Nao's lower lips, using a pair of fingers to open her up wider and experimenting. The movements sent quakes through her loins, and she put her finger in her mouth and bit down to keep herself from making noise. Muscles deep inside of her clenched, building a pressure that longed to be released.

The sensations transmitted through her body were incredibly different than anything she had ever experienced by herself. Just the simple realization of her dreams and fantasies... that it was truly Natsuki who was giving her these feelings, amplified them manyfold. Spikes of lightning radiated from the raven haired girl's tongue, sending shivers down her body and spasms through her limbs. Unable to contain herself, she pulled the wet finger from her mouth, supporting her arching back with one arm while the other massaged her own breast, sending sensations in alternation to the throbbing heat from her loins. She felt the girl beneath her slide a finger inside her, driving deep into her channel, stroking upwards in a curling motion. That alone ripped a sound of amazement from her throat, and once one unguarded noise emanated from her, others in varying volumes quickly began to follow. Nao was far beyond caring... Natsuki had said she wanted to hear them anyway, and as far as Nao was concerned, the raven haired girl was earning them.

The pressure and tension inside of Nao was reaching the point of no return. Natsuki's finger drove into her, stroking deeply in intense counterpoint to the massaging tongue against her clitoris. The combined sensation was driving her mad, and she felt an impending tidal wave of sensation approaching. She called out Natsuki's name in a breathless voice, her mind's eye becoming a blinding white as the pressure finally cracked, waves of pleasure battering against her sanity in an intense release. The turbulent storm wracked her body for what seemed like an eternity, before she finally lay, winded. Natsuki stayed down for a while longer, bringing her down slowly, savoring her pleasure.

Eventually, the older girl lay back on the couch, laying atop Nao's smaller body without applying any uncomfortable pressure, only an enjoyable blanket of warmth. Nao vaguely considered contesting the position of being on top, but her muscles rebelled against her, content to simply lie and bask in the aftershocks of her orgasm. Though the constant vying for domination would almost certainly be an important part of their relationship, she knew, she was happy to lie still for now. There would be plenty of time to challenge her in the years to come.

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