[3] A Day For Cooking (PG)

When you wake, it can be hard to tell how much time has past since you fell asleep. That was a fact Kaori knew all too well.

As the room came into focus, she brushed away the last traces of sleep from her eyes, her movements slowly gaining urgency. She stood abruptly from the chair she had accidentally fallen asleep in, her novel clattering to the hardwood floor, the unmarked page lost. She grabbed the digital clock on her nightstand and turned it to face her. The blazing red display showed '05:07 AM'. She had only been asleep for a half hour, thankfully, but that did little to assuage her worry. She had failed in her vigil for the first time.

Her slipper-clad feet padded down the hallway surreptitiously, bringing her to Nao's bedroom. She placed her hand on the cold metal handle, drawing in a tight breath as she opened the door silently, careful not to make a sound. The sight of Nao's sleeping form, laced by silver moonlight, sent a wave of relief through her. She leaned against the door frame as the panic receded, putting her nursing degree to some use as she checked for injuries, and finding none visible. Nao had managed to survive another night.

As her breathing returned to normal, Kaori continued to watch her daughter slumber. Since the very beginning of their living together, she had known that reintegrating herself into her daughter's life would be difficult. Nao was loving and kind at home, but when Kaori saw her daughter with other people, she saw Nao become a different person. She was sickly sweet, but behind that facade dwelled a cruel and malicious side she wouldn't have imagined. At first, she had rationalized that it was her fault that Nao had become that way; that she hadn't recovered from the lack of a parental figure through most of her formulative years. So she had showered Nao with support and love, and hoped for the best. But even months later, with the sole exception of Natsuki, Nao still wasn't making new friends or associating with people any more than she had to.

But even more worrying than that, was Nao's habit of sneaking out of the house late at night, only to come back home with various unexplained wounds early in the morning. Kaori had tried to sit down and talk with her about it, but her daughter only stared back at her calmly. I'm looking for answers, Mama. I just... need to keep looking. Kaori had put on a strained smile, and accepted it. What right did she have to come back into her daughter's life, and then go about changing it? But on the nights that Nao left, a knot of helpless terror coiled in her stomach, and she would lie awake in bed, trying to pass the time without dwelling on what might happen.

Most nights, Nao came back and returned to bed without saying anything. Occasionally, she would return with lacerations bad enough to require bandages, and then Kaori would walk into the bathroom as her daughter patched herself up. The first few times, at least, Nao had the grace to look ashamed. But after that, it became a ritual: Kaori would treat her wounds expertly and silently, laying down a final layer of disinfectant and pressing down a bandage. Nao would hug her, equally wordlessly. In the morning, they would have breakfast as usual, and not speak of it.

Kaori had been at a loss of what to do, until recently. Meeting Natsuki, and watching Nao interact with her, had formed the spark of a plan in Kaori's mind. Today was the day that Natsuki was coming over for cooking lessons, so she had best get some sleep. She could still get in a few hours before the object of her daughter's affections arrived.

*****

Her helmet dangled carelessly from a sole handlebar, still jingling and swinging on its cord from the abrupt parking outside the Yuukis' house. Natsuki pocketed her keys after giving them a single spin around an extended digit. She tried to relax and feel comfortable, but she couldn't help but wring her hands as she walked to the door. Her throat felt dry, a symptom of the impending uncomfortable meeting with another member of the older generation. In most cases, her inherent dislike for people over the age of thirty had proven well founded, but Kaori seemed to be an all together nice woman. The inability to get over this nagging dread for this meeting felt too much like a phobia for Natsuki to accept it. She cleared her throat in quiet determination, not quiet feeling it, then rang the bell with a sigh of resignation.

Wearing an dark blue apron, the woman she knew to be Kaori opened the door with a smile. "Natsuki-chan... welcome to our humble abode."

Natsuki crossed the threshold, smiling back. "Sorry that I'm late. Traffic was bad in the city."

"Don't worry... Nao-chan hasn't even gotten out of bed yet." Kaori winked with a bemused smile. "She had a late night last night."

I'll bet. Natsuki thought darkly. Probably out entangling more gang members, trying to get herself killed. The thought sent a spike of worry through her, before her more cynical side smothered the feeling. Her idiotic vigilante crusade doesn't concern me. She's made that much clear. "That's fine. I can wait."

"I'll rouse Nao-chan out of bed in a bit, but before that... we need to talk" She retreated back into the kitchen, beckoning.

That sounds foreboding. Natsuki thought as she followed.

"How do you take your coffee?" Kaori delayed, pouring the steaming black liquid into a pair of mugs.

"Black is fine."

The mother brought both mugs with her back to the table sans additives, gently placing one on a coaster in front of her guest, and taking a long sip from the other as she sat in a seat opposite Natsuki. They drank in silence, the air heavy with anticipation. While enjoying the rich brew, Natsuki tried making observations about her host unobtrusively. Kaori had an aura of personal strength, but lacked feeling of real maturity that befitted someone middle aged. More accurately, she simply resembled a high school student who was housed in a middle aged body, and who's free spirit hadn't been ravaged by the passage of time. Given how long she had been in a coma, though, that was probably only natural, the raven haired girl thought.

Finally, Kaori finished her drink and folded her hands in a reserved manner. "Natsuki, can I make a selfish request of you?"

Now that's an ominous question. She phrased her response carefully, riding the fine line between pointed and rude. "You can request whatever you like... whether I agree or not is a different matter."

Kaori grinned, an expression that bespoke approval of the slightly snarky response. "Fair enough." She leaned back in the chair, settling for a long talk. "Do you know about Nao's nightly trips?"

Natsuki contemplated her response, stalling for time with a long sip. "I know of them, yes. She often ends up in the areas around my apartment, and we've even run into each other once."

Kaori nodded slowly. "I don't know what it is she does out there, but..." she hesitated, raising a finger to silence any potential explanations from Natsuki, not that any were forthcoming. "I don't really want to know any details." She took a slow breath. "I know enough. I know that she's doing things that are dangerous, and it deeply worries me."

Natsuki ran her finger around the rim of her nearly empty mug, already seeing where this was going. "I don't mean to sound rude but... can't you just tell her to stop?"

Kaori dropped her gaze, her eyes almost sad. "That's the crux of the problem. Could I tell her to stop? Force her to stop? Sure I could. She'd probably even listen to me. But whatever is driving her to do these destructive things..." Kaori trailed off, letting the silence linger for a time. "I think... it would pool inside her, and eventually, it would destroy her."

Natsuki regarded the woman in front of her with a strange sort of respect. Never before had she seen someone look so weak and yet so strong at the same time. "I never really thought about it that way."

Kaori smiled the gentlest of smiles, her gaze on her own empty mug. "Five months ago, I woke up inside the burned out shell of a building, cradled in the arms of my daughter, who I hadn't seen since the day she left for elementary school, seven years previous. She was beaten and battered, both emotionally and physically, but she was my Nao-chan." She drew in a shuddering breath at the memory. "Afterwards, the doctors couldn't explain how I had come out of the coma, much less found clothes and reappeared halfway across the city. All of my assets were still in place, and the hospital I had wasted seven years of my life dreaming away in suddenly had an opening for a nurse practitioner with exactly my credentials. It was all perfect, as if the world was waiting for my return." Her gaze flickered back up to Natsuki. "But I've been living in a dream, ever since that day, Natsuki-chan... a dream I'm desperately afraid of waking up from. I keep waiting for the world to come crashing back down... to steal my Nao-chan away from me again. Every night she leaves is torture. But I can't force her to stop... no matter how badly I want to. I need to let her find the peace she needs to. But you..." Her eyes hardened, as though she had finally come to a decision, and her gaze was forceful yet kind. "Will you help her? Give her the support that as her mother, I cannot? Will you help her find peace?"

*****

Kaori made her way out of the kitchen. The image of Natsuki, not responding, simply looking to the side in a muted silence, was burned into her memory. Kaori would have given a thousand fortunes to be given a glance into the twisted mirage of thoughts buried deep behind those eyes. But even Kaori, who had considered herself talented and figuring out complicated people, couldn't fathom what resided inside this girl, who's fate was so interwoven with her daughter's.

At length, Natsuki had finally given an quiet nod. From the little Kaori knew about the girl, even a tentative agreement to be responsible for someone else's happiness was a big step. Kaori remembered her younger years quite clearly, back when she was in her last year of high school, with an unhappy past and a grudge against the world. She had been a lot like Natsuki, actually. It had taken another tragedy to make her snap out of it, but Natsuki and Nao had seen enough tragedy for women many times their age already. They didn't need any more.

Still, Natsuki had agreed, hadn't she? That was as much as Kaori could have hoped for. She had retreated to her own room, smiling wickedly. Her little performance had moved Natsuki, that much she was willing to wager on. 'You're so damn good, Kaori.' she thought to herself, self-satisfied. With any luck, it was just the prod that was needed to get things going. Unless she missed her guess, things were going to become quite interesting.

*****

Alone, Natsuki held her head in her hands, rocking back and forth. Ugh. What did I get myself into? Kaori's impassioned plea had held her spellbound, but when the older woman left, so did a majority of her confidence. Natsuki wasn't really the meddling type, and besides, Nao didn't want anyone interfere with her life, did she? The question lingered in her mind. To all outwards appearance, Nao warded everyone, even Natsuki, away from her nightly forays. Was it all just a cry for attention? She sighed for what seemed like the dozenth time during her internal monologue. She wasn't a babysitter. Nao could take care of herself, and had been since way before Natsuki even met her. Still... Kaori's plea had a strange effect on her.

She looked up as Nao entered the room. A greeting formed on her lips, but died as she watched Nao stumble across the room, her eyes only narrowed, sleepy slits. The recently roused girl was clad in only a long white tee-shirt that came down to her mid thigh, her apparent sleepwear. She shambled, zombie-like, towards the coffee maker. Her unsteady hand poured a glass up the the very brim, clutching the vessel with both hands as she turned and leaned against the counter. Facing Natsuki with slitted eyes, but still lacking any cognizance of her surroundings, she drank the beverage with no regard to the liquid's searing temperature. As the stimulant worked its way into her system, Nao's eyes slowly opened, and she recognized a bemused Natsuki sitting at the kitchen table, watching her. She choked in surprise, the movement from her coughing spilling a good portion of her drink down the front of her shirt, leaving a dark brown stain across the white fabric.

She set the cup down, clearing the last of the coffee from her windpipe with a final cough. When she had recovered enough to talk again, she shot an angry glare at Natsuki. "What are you doing in my house?"

It took all of Natsuki's self control to suppress her mirth. "Well, it just so happens your mother suggested I come over. Something about cooking lessons... I believe you were there when she extended the invitation." She twirled a finger through her hair innocently.

The redhead brushed at the stain ineffectually. "But it's only..." she trailed off, looking at the clock.

"Noon?" Natsuki countered swiftly, the corners of her mouth tugging upwards. "Yes... it is only noon."

Nao rubbed one eye in resignation. "Whatever." She tugged the soiled tee shirt, straightening it, then refilled her mug. "I'll go change in a bit, but for now, you'll just have to deal with me like this while I finish a new cup.

Natsuki shrugged. "I've seen you in worse shape."

Nao grumbled something unintelligible as she settled into a chair, still not entirely awake.

Minutes passed as they drank in silence, but then a nagging question resurfaced in Natsuki's mind. "Nao... how much does your mother know about the Festival?"

Nao drummed her fingers on the table. "Not too much."

Natsuki waited for her to elaborate, but after several moments, it became apparent she wasn't going to. "Not too much? What does that mean? You didn't tell her anything?"

"She never asked." Nao shrugged complacently.

"She just accepted everything? Without any kind of explanation?"

"What would I even tell her if I wanted to explain? I barely even remember much of what happened." She glanced in Natsuki's direction. "Mostly just flashes of anger... holding you hostage and feeling a wretched sort of enjoyment from it."

"You love being a villain, don't you?"

"Villain?" she retorted. "I think my anger was justified. You and everyone else jumped to conclusions and attacked me. That's what started everything."

Natsuki swallowed. "I regret that, you know. Maybe that helps you understand, why... when we were on the roof with Shizuru..."

"That's why you made her spare me?" Nao raised an eyebrow sarcastically.

"Well... the other reason, I already told you. We're similar, you and I."

"For better or for worse." Nao agreed. "But, after you saved me on the roof... all I wanted to do was die." She grimaced. "I went off into the seediest part of town and picked a fight with the meanest people I could find. Even without Julia or my Elements, I still got a few good knocks in. But they backed me up into an abandoned building, and..." she pursed her lips, not bothering to detail her likely fate. "But... then some freaky ghost version of Mashiro showed up and saved me." She shook her head quietly. "And then there she was... lying in my arms. That same peaceful face I had been going to visit weekly since the attack, only now her eyes were open, and she..." Nao let the half sentence hang, gazing off into the distance for a moment, then snorted. "What the hell is wrong with me? You've got me talking all sappy." She rolled her eyes, then sighed at Natsuki. "Well? What about you?"

Natsuki felt fairly off balance. "Me?"

"I told you my story, didn't I?"

"What... about where I was when the Festival ended?" she extrapolated. A nod from the redhead confirmed it. "Well... you know most of the story. Mai continued her streak, defeating Sister Yukariko and burning down the Fuuka Chapel."

"Didn't I tell you? Her Child was a monster."

"And then Shiho attacked Mai, but Mikoto intervened and defeated Shiho." Natsuki continued.

"I bet Oniichan was thrilled."

"Tate? He died gracefully. Mai was something of a wreck, though." The recitation felt surreal to Natsuki. For months and months, the topic had simply been taboo. Now they were recalling the killings like the results of last weeks baseball game. Nao seemed morbidly interested, and had the right to know, but Natsuki felt impending doom as the discussion progressed.

"Mmm... and then Mai killed Shizuru?" Nao speculated without a trace of emotion.

Natsuki's stomach lurched sickeningly as she remembered the next step to their tragic journey. "... No."

The redhead's upper lip curled. "No? What... did that psycho bitch kill you all?"

Natsuki felt bile rise in her throat. It wasn't just her own recollection she feared, although that was discomforting in and of itself. But Nao... Nao was a whole other matter in her own right. "I killed her."

"You did?" Nao's mouth hung slightly agape for a moment before she recovered. "You're not joking, are you." It was a statement, not a question. "Does that mean that you two were..."

Natsuki twisted her head violently. Nao's emerald eyes burned with a dangerous fire of jealousy, and the memories were painful enough. "I don't want to talk about it."

Nao ground her teeth, a short lived fury on her face, before it slowly dissipated like a morning mist. When she had herself under control, she continued in a deadpan voice. "Well... that's a crappy place to leave off."

Natsuki felt bitter. "What can I say? It's a crappy story."

Nao snorted. "Yeah... yeah it is." She glanced at Natsuki, both girls feeling the oppressive atmosphere of unresolved feelings. "I'm going to go get changed."

"I'll be here, waiting."

Nao smiled.

*****

Kaori let out a long sigh after Natsuki had exited the door. The casualties had been high, but the girls had managed to make it through their first cooking lesson. Natsuki had added mayonnaise instead of vanilla extract, and Nao had decided filing her nails was more important than greasing the pan. To top things off, Kaori had accidentally used the container of old baking powder she kept meaning to throw away. The cake had gone into the oven, destined to be inedible, but Kaori persevered, and instructed them in the creation of homemade frosting. She returned from the store to find the two girls taking cover, each speckled with flecks of frosting: debris from a war started over an offhanded comment. But under their furrowed brows and dark glances, a strange respect was evident.

Kaori looked at the door, listening to the roar of the motorcycle's engine as it came to life. "Good luck, Natsuki-chan. You'll be needing it."

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